I wake up in the morning and see the beautiful soft sunlight streaming in through my window. I feel happy and ready to start a new day. Taking the newspaper in one hand, I carefully take a sip of the hot coffee and open the front page. My world changes in an instant, the feeling of being safe, happy, and protected vaporize in an instant.
HEADLINE: 20-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE STUDENT RAPED AND MURDERED.
Not again, not again!!!
A fear grips me but the anger overcomes all other emotions. Raped?? Murdered?? Is that all that can be done to us?? My city, where I spent my childhood, where I grew up, the city which taught me to love and to fight was no longer safe for me. It was now a cruel certainty that any time and at any moment anything could happen to me.
The coffee had gone cold, the happiness had vanished like that soft sunlight, and I was no longer safe. I kept the newspaper away not bothering to read the gory details. Keeping the pessimistic feeling behind I gather myself up to get ready to head out for work.
I love my work, I love my office, I love my little cubicle, I don't love my boss though (gives me insane deadlines), and I love some of my colleagues. These thoughts lighten up my mood for a bit.
The platform is crowded and the train is late. I am worried about getting late and also of an insanely crowded train, where I have to fight to get in. Suddenly, I feel someone nudging me at my waist. I spin around and see a man in his early 20's, standing behind me. Apparently, it seems he wants to get on the train too. I ignore the feeling and again wait, impatiently. Again, someone nudges me, this time harder - trying to grope. Out of reflex, I spin around to see that same guy, now with a teasing impish grin on his face, as if challenging me to do something. I was about to take up the challenge when I heard the train whistle. The train arrives, I get crushed in the crowd boarding the train and the molester disappears.
I get late to reach office. My boss calls me in and gives me a good lecture on the advantages of arriving on time. I feel like a five-year-old kid. I go back to my little cubicle and immerse myself in work. Someone touches my back, I again spin around on reflex. I see Mr. X leaning towards me asking why I was late. I don't like this guy, I get a negative vibe from him and he is always unnecessarily close. I feel like a cornered animal, but I say nothing, he is my senior after-all, and I love my job. I make an excuse and leave my cubicle on the pretext of xeroxing. He looks at me in an obscene manner, and I feel naked.
It's late and I am tired. I have to go home now and I am worried about transport. Luckily I get a train and let a sigh of relief. The station is crowded as usual and seeing so many people I am reminded of the morning's groping incident. I again feel the darkness of night closing in on me, I feeling thousands of eyes stuck on to me like a leech. I reflexively coil by the passing of every bike. I think about the self-defense methods over and over again when I enter dark alleys. I seethe with anger seeing men jeering and cat calling at me. And with all these feeling left unsaid I finally return home.
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